"The Foundling, or, A Basket of Ham" is a two-act operetta inspired by the works of Gilbert and Sullivan, but with a completely original book and score. The operetta has two facets. In part, it is a broad parody; all the characters know that they are G&S actors, and comment (or sing) about their duties. But it is also a silly story told "in the style of" Gilbert and Sullivan. The silly story is summarized below.
The show was written with an eye towards limiting production costs. It calls for a cast of twenty: four major leads (soprano, alto, tenor, patter baritone), four chorus leads (soprano, alto, baritone, bass), and a twelve-member chorus, evenly divided between men and women. By reducing the size of the chorus, it is possible to perform "The Foundling" with fewer people. One set is used for both acts. The women each need only one costume, but there is a costume change for most of the men. The show is orchestrated for 2 flutes, 1 oboe, 2 clarinets, 1 bassoon, 2 French horns, 2 trumpets, 2 trombones, timpani, and strings.
Twenty years ago, the scatter-brained baronet, Sir Humphrey Oliphaunt, lost his sole heir by accidentally replacing the child with a large smoked ham. But now, he has finally managed to locate his long-lost son, Abelard. Abelard is a major in the 18th Fusileers, and he is enamored of Chloe, a young maiden who has been raised by her foster father to be a swineherd. The Major and his foster brothers, also of the 18th Fusileers, have heretofore been under the care of Prudence, a kindly but rather over-protective nurse, who is convinced that her charges are too young to marry, much to the dismay of the local gentlewomen.
As the curtain rises, the chorus is anticipating the arrival of Abelard, who is this day to claim his place as Sir Humphrey's heir, and choose his bride. The 18th Fusileers are happy. Their foster brother and commanding officer is to gain in one fell swoop a father, a title, and a rich wife! The village ladies are not quite so overjoyed. None of them want Abelard, for they are already in love with his brothers. Nor does Abelard want any of them, for his heart is set on the rustic maid Chloe. For her part, Chloe is ecstatic at the prospect of marrying the handsome Major.
So, Abelard arrives. After a touching reunion with Sir Humphrey, the baronet expresses his desire that Abelard marry one of the many available gentlewomen immediately. He strongly rejects the idea of his only son marrying the village swineherd. Abelard feels duty bound to obey his new-found father's wishes, and bids a tearful farewell to Chloe. Even the arguments of Prudence, his former nurse (who arrives in time to hear of the wedding plans,) cannot dissuade him from doing what he feels is his duty.
Eventually, all is ready for the wedding. The village ladies draw straws, and Alice loses -- she must wed Abelard. Chloe, in turn, pledges herself to Alice's former beau, the Sergeant of the 18th Fusileers. In doing so, she apologizes for her lowly upbringing. She does not, she explains, even know who her parents are, having been raised by the village butcher, who one day found her in spot usually occupied by a large smoked ham. This revelation jogs Sir Humphrey's faulty memory. He never had a long-lost son. The baby he lost was a **daughter**, and that daughter must be Chloe.
This is a pleasant surprise! Chloe, as the daughter of Sir Humphrey, can marry anyone she likes, and she promptly chooses Abelard. Alice and the Sergeant are reunited, the rest of the chorus pair up, and everyone rejoices. Everyone, that is, except Prudence, who interrupts the festivities, and forbids the banns on the grounds that the 18th Fusileers are too young to marry. As the act ends, she separates all the happy couples, and drags her charges off for some warm milk and cookies.
Time passes, until it's the middle of the night. Chloe, Abelard, and the entire chorus meet, and start to steal away, but they are caught in the act by Prudence and Sir Humphrey. Prudence insists that the Fusileers return to bed immediately, but the women insist that the Fusileers must marry them. A tearful scene ensues, until Abelard thinks of a way to resolve the tangle. He makes the following argument: Since he and each of his eight foster-brothers are twenty, collectively they must be one hundred and eighty years old, and that is certainly old enough to be married. Prudence, predictably, agrees, and equally predictably gets engaged to Sir Humphrey. Rapture, song, and curtain.
Updated 11 Jan 1997