I Am the Very Model of a Modern Composition Teacher

Gilbert and Sullivan Archive

MIDI File 3 min. 41 seconds.

I am the very model of a modern composition teacher!
(Which is more work for much less pay than being a religious preacher.)
I know the rules of grammar, yet I teach them quite un-usually,
Using tools from journals, and from books, and university.

I'm very well acquainted with the works of Lindblom and of Dunn,
Because they make the teaching job seem like it is lot of fun.
Fulkerson, Berlin, Knobaluch and also Mrs. Nancy Sommers,
All share information that makes grammar less of a big bummer.

CHORUS:
They share information that makes grammar less of a big bummer.
They share information that makes grammar less of a big bummer.
They share information that makes grammar less of a big bummer.

I know how to help students to write for a real live audience,
By teaching them to have a purpose and a proper exigence.
They need to think of kairos, pathos, forum, and of logos,
And then to top it off they must also go finding nomos.

CHORUS:
They need to think of kairos, pathos, forum, and of logos,
And then to top it off they must also go finding nomos.

I've made up rubrics differently, for essays, poems, and folios,
To let my students know I care for content over spelling-oh.
When they are anxious I tell them to draw, or map, or act it out,
Dunn's kinesthetic exercise lets them see what that's all about.
When they're done acting then they write much better than they did before,
And sketching their ideas begets so many pretty metaphors.
And if that's still not good enough, there's taping things, and journaling,
And oral presentations, free-writing, and also brainstorming.

CHORUS:
There's oral presentations, free-writing, and also brainstorming.
There's oral presentations, free-writing, and also brainstorming.
There's oral presentations, free-writing, and also brainstorming.

To engage my students in discovering their home language,
I let them write in dialect, in BVE, and also Spanglish.
To overcome their fear of grammar, try new things most every day,
Like bustin' mythrules, no "school writing;" learning things the easy way.

CHORUS:
To overcome their fear of grammar, try new things most every day,
Like bustin' mythrules, no "school writing;" learning things the easy way.

How is affect not like effect? Some say these rules we need,
Just keep your standards to your selves until they learn to read.
I use a simple lesson plan, to help them think rhetorically,
And I reject those grammar drills, reject them categorically!
When learning to engage a text, my students think outside the box,
There is much more you know than there appears to be in "Fox in Sox."
With all the knowledge that I have from texts methodological,
I know what progress has been made in subjects pedagogical.

CHORUS:
I know what progress has been made in subjects pedagogical.
I know what progress has been made in subjects pedagogical.
I know what progress has been made in subjects pedagogical.

I favor the portfolio; a long-term view of learning.
It's for a class to teach myself, that I am really yearning.
The class I teach will benefit from my one very special feature,
I am the very model of a modern composition teacher!

CHORUS:
And so, in matters textual, grammatic, and rhetorical,
She is the very model of a modern composition teacher!

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Page created November 14, 2004