Anonymous
MIDI File 31K, 3 min. 41 seconds.
I am the very model of a modern college applicant,
I'm hoping for some financial aid or even a large research grant,
I've written twelve good essays and I hope that one will intrigue,
My goal is to attend a prestigious, well-known Ivy League.
I have sent out all my grades which consist mostly of A's and B's,
I even sent a copy of my scores from my seven SAT's.
I have shown that I do volunteer work nearly everyday,
(But I admit I only do it to improve my résumé).
But he admits he does only to improve his résumé.
But he admits he does only to improve his résumé.
But he admits he does only to improve his résumé.
Activities outside of school, of those I do not see a lack,
I have played baseball, soccer, football and even ran track.
In short in matters dealing with this list which I hope enchants,
You will see that I am the perfect college applicant.
In short in matters dealing with this list which he hopes enchants,
You will see that he is the perfect college applicant.
I attend one of the most distinguished boarding schools,
We are filled with scholars, not like others which are filled with fools,
When you see the impact that I've had on this community,
You will see that I have brought no strife and always fought for unity.
I've the honor of holding a little title known as president,
And have never failed to miss a meeting of the council of the residents.
Teachers here respect me and the students ask me for advice,
They know that my expertise will lead them to be wise.
We know that his expertise will lead us to be wise.
We know that his expertise will lead us to be wise.
We know that his expertise will lead us to be wise.
I am frequently approached by them for my adroit tutelage,
Between knowledge and students I can build a suspension bridge.
My gift lies in science which I approach with utter insanity,
Yet I have no lack of wisdom in the humanities.
His gift lies in science which he approaches with no insanity,
Yet he has no dearth of wisdom in the humanities.
In fact, when I know what is meant by mansuetude and syzygy,
And I can tell the scientific name for every single type of pea.
I also have read nearly every book about the Great World War,
I even know at sight if someone has been enveloped by amor.
I can prove to anyone the first theorem derived by Euler,
I can even do calculus using only a small slide ruler.
In short if you dare to think that I have not proven my worth,
My skills seem prominent and of those there is not a dearth.
His skills seem prominent and of those there is not a dearth.
His skills seem prominent and of those there is not a dearth.
His skills seem prominent and of those there is not a dearth.
For if you view me as a boy and not as the great man I am,
You are losing not only me but also my parent's thirty grand,
So if you feel that this has seemed to be an interminable rant,
You have failed your job because I am the perfect applicant.
So if you feel that this has seemed to be an interminable rant,
You have failed your job because he is the perfect applicant.
Page updated August 18, 2003