The Mountebanks Dialogue Folowing Song No. 14

Dialogue Following Song No. 14

RISOTTO (looking at his watch).: Now, Minestra, where are you? This is the appointed spot, and you are not here. Dear, dear, dear! She never kept me waiting before. (Looking off.) Ah, I see her! Here she comes, toddling along like an old lady of eighty! What a thorough little artist she is! She keeps up the character even when she thinks no one is looking!
RISOTTO.: My darling, you're late. Why - what a wonderful disguise! I never saw anything more perfect in my life! I can hardly believe that this is my pretty, dainty, delicate, little bride!
MINESTRA.: Oh, Risotto, don't be angry with your little wifey, but something terrible has happened - I - I can't get it off!
RISOTTO.: Can't get what off, my pet?
MINESTRA.: The make-up! I lined my face, just as you told me - and - and now they're real wrinkles!
RISOTTO (examining her face).: What!
MINESTRA.: Then you told me to cover my teeth with cobbler's wax. They've all come out! Then you told me to pretend I had gout and rheumatism - and I've got 'em! Ugh! (Groaning.)
RISOTTO.: But, my dearest girl -
MINESTRA.: Then my hair! Oh, my poor hair!
RISOTTO.: It's a capital wig.
MINESTRA.: That's it - it's not a wig! It's my own, and it won't come off - and I hate it!
RISOTTO.: This is a most remarkable circumstance. How did it happen?
MINESTRA.: After I had dressed myself as an old woman, we all drank some wine out of the conjuror's wine-skin, and I gradually became an old woman of seventy-four!
RISOTTO.: This is most embarrassing. I may say, most disappointing. On one's wedding day, too!
MINESTRA.: My poor husband, I'm so sorry for you! But I'm an old woman, and you won't be troubled with me long; that's one comfort to you.
RISOTTO.: Yes - I mean, no. I - I trust that, notwithstanding this - this modification of the implied terms of our agreement - there are many years of - of - yes, bliss - in store for us. (Aside.) If it had only happened yesterday, it wouldn't have mattered so much!
MINESTRA.: Of course, you won't love your little woman now!
RISOTTO.: Oh, I beg your pardon. I shall have much pleasure in - in showing you every attention compatible with the - the respect due to a lady of your advanced years, my - my pet!