| AMANDUS. (wildly) I can endure no longer; I just die! |
| |
Better to perish in a final plunge
Than live in everlasting misery!
Farewell, ye fields, where once we walked together;
Farewell, ye skies, 'neath which (and an umbrella)
We strolled, unconscious of the constable,
Who watched us with a sympathetic smile,
And thought of all his cooks! Farewell, farewell!
Farewell, yon sun, that freckled her fair nose;
And (as I cannot stop to say Good-bye
To everything in Nature) all things, please
Accept this as an intimation that
I bid you an adieu! And now to — |
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|
|
[He rushes towards the pond. |
| PISCATOR. (turning) |
Eh? |
|
|
| |
May I enquire what you're about to do? |
| AMANDUS. I want to drown myself! |
| PISCATOR. |
Indeed! and where? |
| AMANDUS. (pointing to pond) In yonder pool. |
| PISCATOR. (taking Amandus's arm and bringing him away from pool) |
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Not if I know it, sir! |
| AMANDUS. Indeed! And if I choose to drown myself, |
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Who shall prevent me? |
| PISCATOR. (calmly). |
|
I! (Pointing) See you yon bubble? |
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That bubble means a fish! |
| AMANDUS. (with indifference). |
Does it? |
| PISCATOR (impressively). |
|
A carp! |
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|
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My carp! |
| AMANDUS. |
Is it? |
| PISCATOR. |
You do not ask me how |
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It's "mine"? |
| AMANDUS. |
|
I don't. |
| PISCATOR. (cheerfully). |
|
No matter. I'll inform you. |
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'Twas I discovered him! |
| AMANDUS. (unimpressed). |
Oh, did you though? |
| PISCATOR. |
|
One day I saw him basking in the sun; |
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His fins were working, and his tail he waved
Like this (he imitates the fish's motion with his coat-
tails);his globous mouth opened and shut, |
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Solemn and slow, like this (imitating). It was a sight
That thrilled me with delight. And from that hour
I vowed to catch that carp. |
| AMANDUS. (impatiently). |
Well, well, go on! |
| PISCATOR. I am going on! I went: I tried him first |
| |
With ordinary gentles, all in vain!
Then meal-worms, brandlings, gilt-tails I essayed;
Calves' brains, and pieces of o'er-ripened cheese;
Through all the fish bill of fare I went,
Until at last one day — I had a nibble! |
| AMANDUS. And what of that? |
| PISCATOR. |
What of it! Ecstacy! |
| |
Half-hesitating, trembling ecstacy!
But — 'twas some years ago, and I was young —
I struck too soon — (sadly) and lost him! |
| AMANDUS. |
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Very sad! |
| PISCATOR. But I was not discouraged. Though I failed, |
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I tried again. |
| AMANDUS. (aside). Ah Cupid, so did I! |
| PISCATOR. But with the same result! Why, sir, I've thrown |
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Some tons of ground-bait in this peaceful pond!
And now I've ta'en the house across the fields,
And every evening for the last five years
I've come to catch that carp! |
| AMANDUS. (going to him). |
But what's all this |
| |
To one who wants to die? |
| PISCATOR. |
Young man, young man! |
| |
You have some sense of charity, I hope? |
| AMANDUS.
I hope I have, sir! Well? |
| PISCATOR.
When younder sun goes down, and half-past six, |
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My hopes are at an end. But one small hour
Is left me for my task. While you can come
At any time to-night, and drown yourself, —
And yet you will not wait! |
| AMANDUS. (moving towards the pond). |
Certainly not! |
| PISCATOR.
Oh, listen to me yet! My very soul |
| |
Is centered on that carp. In business hours
My thoughts oft wander carpward. Think, oh, think —
Think of the envy of admiring friends!
The contradiction of the incredulous spouse,
Who never saw me bring home anything,
And thinks I never shall! Think of the joy
When I shall have him stuffed, in a glass case —
A life-long monument of fishy fame!
This is the only evening for a week
That seems to promise that the fish will bite;
My hopes are at their highest; and you come
To plunge into this pond, and blast them all,
Because, forsooth, you "want to drown yourself!"
Young man, young man, you cannot have a heart! |
| AMANDUS. (relenting and returning to Piscator) |
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|
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Your pleading leaves me not insensible:
I, too, have had a nibble! |
| PISCATOR. |
|
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From a fish? |
| AMANDUS.
No; from a maiden. But (sighing) she would not bite! |
| PISCATOR. Perhaps she scratched? |
| AMANDUS. |
No, no! |
| |
E'en that would have been something! She is cold,
Unfeeling, heartless, stony, hard as nails;
And I, alas! I loved, and love her still! |
