Musings in a Music Hall by W. S. Gilbert

When a man sticks his hat at the back of his head,
	Tell me, Oh, Editor, why do they roar?
And then, when he pushes it forward instead,
	Why do they scream twice as loud as before?
When an elderly gentleman rumples his hair,
	Why do they all go delirious as well?
When he uses a handkerchief out of repair,
	Why do they, why do they, why do they yell?

When a vulgar virago is singing her song,
	Why must she offer herself as a wife?
Why give applause about ten minutes long
	When a baby of seven imperils its life?
What does a singer intend to imply
	By "Whack fol the larity, larity, lay"?
What can he hope to convey to me by,
	Singing "Rum tiddity, iddity!" eh?